The wintry season of life

A while ago I walked down to the building where my brother and sister-in-law live. It was to my mind, just about the most perfect day I could imagine. The sky was brilliantly clear, the air was crisp and not too cold, the remaining autumn colors were radiant: yellows, oranges, reds in trees and flowers even and green grass. Wonderful. 

What went through my mind as I walked was a sense that this almost perfect beauty was like a gift to hold on to before the grey and bleakness of winter set in. It is a bit like the hope and lift of the heart you feel when you see the first signs of Spring's very different beauty.

Then, I suppose, because it is what some people my age think about, I found myself contrasting this prelude of glorious if fading beauty before the grey of winter, with middle and old age. Middle age is, or can be, a beautiful time. One is, if well, still fit enough to do what one wants physically and mentally. There is, hopefully, a certain wisdom that makes life a bit more peaceful. Sometimes, as a gift, there can be deep understanding and appreciation of the beauty of life. All of this of course, is subject to the qualifications of life experience , what kind of life each of us has had. Possibly,it is a bit like the difference between a tree that is quite beautiful but whose colours are modified by blotches of some sort and a tree that has remained relatively unscathed.

Then, slowly we move into old age - the wintery season of our lives as Karl Rahner would put it - when we are losing our leaves and feeling less full of the energy that propelled us earlier. We become - many of us - increasingly less agile and more dependent and sometimes distressed by all this. And yet, and yet... isn't there a magnificent, stark beauty in the winter trees? You can see their shapes and the strength of their trunks and guess the depths of their roots. So perhaps, however badly we may feel, we may also see beauty in age which is after all, its own part of the journey. We tend sometimes to see the frailty, possibly the crankiness, the wrinkles. But why can't these be beautiful? They are after all, the fruit of a life lived and every single one of us, if we do not die young, will arrive there in the end. Maybe we lose a lot of the enjoyment of life when we too narrowly define beauty.

Of Trees and Keys

I wanted to show this photo again because I love this tree. It speaks to me of many things but most of all how beautiful something gnarled and old can be. This tree is all knotted and misshapen but it is strong and has its own loveliness. It is useful too for, among other values, it provides shade and cool in the heat of the day. That is all I wanted to say about it but you will have your own thoughts I'm sure.

                              

 My second pondering is on the subject of keys. You may think this strange but the importance of keys struck me particularly the other day when I saw a man on the street who looked like some of the homeless men one sees far too often on city streets. But then I saw that this man had a bunch of keys on his belt. I felt quite startled by this. As I thought about why I felt that way, I realized that keys, for most of us, symbolize that one has access to one or more places that are private and in some sense privileged: do you expect a homeless person to have keys? For keys are for your home or place of work or at least, some place where you have access that others do not. Many of us carry keys - sometimes quite a few. So does having keys give a certain status? Even if it isn't to a mansion..?

Do we ever think about what our own set of keys means about our own lives?



               

The Gift of Weakness

The photo here is of some of my oldest and closest friends at the L'Arche community in Burnaby, B.C. My gratitude for their friendship and for all that I have learned from them is huge.

Though I no longer live in this community I am part of it. I helped found it and I am what is called a 'spiritual member' which is something I am also so very grateful for. It means that my vocation of prayer includes the commitment to pray for them; to ask God to help them through the hard times, to fill them with joy for all times and to let them be a little light in our world.

Here is something that Jean Vanier who is the founder of L'Arche, has written:

[In L'Arche] there are all the ups and downs of life, the disappointments, misunderstandings, disagreements and even conflicts. But that is very human and natural. We come from different backgrounds , cultures and faith traditions and have different temperaments. But we are seeking to love one another and to create in this broken world of ours a tiny place that radiates love and forgiveness and a desire for unity...My experience is that the God of love and the love of God are hidden in those who are weak and vulnerable, in our own weakness and vulnerability; God is hidden in our communities...I take rest and joy from that. *

Most of us don't see any gift in our weakness and vulnerability. In fact, we do all we can to be strong and in control. But the reality remains that we are in fact not in control. I think L'Arche teaches us that it is when we are willing to let go of the effort to control, to embrace our own and other people's weakness (and strength) and to be willing to be vulnerable and to share our gifts as we journey along the road together, then we move forward in joy.
* Jean Vanier: Our Life Together, A Memoir in Letters, Darton, Longman and Todd Ltd., London, 2007

Trees

I often wonder how aware many of us are of our surroundings - especially when those surroundings are ones that we pass every day. I think the Buddhists would want to say to us that we need to be really mindful as we walk to wherever we are going. Do we feel the ground under us? do we see the faces of the people we pass? do we notice the gardens with their flowers and their weeds? Or are we just looking at our phone or head - down rushing to work or to an appointment or ... 

You might wonder where this is leading. Lately I have been noticing trees. Do you? Those of us who live in cities maybe don't see trees but I would guess that if you look around, you will see they are there. In a city like Toronto we are, I think, very fortunate. We have many beautiful parks and lots of trees along the sidewalks. We need trees. We need them both for the survival of our breathable air and also for their beauty.

  It also strikes me that trees have a kind of metaphorical 'value'. We can see for instance, in the life cycle of its leaves something of our own: fresh tender leaves in Spring; hardened, darkened slightly nibbled leaves in summer; dying leaves in autumn and dead leaves in winter. 

 

 
Then there are the trees that are deeply rooted and can survive almost any storm or drought and the trees that are more fragile which will suffer and perhaps die if they don't receive special care.

You can no doubt think of other ways that trees teach us. They also of course, protect us.

So, I reckon we need to protect them.

Have a lovely week.

Thanksgiving

Last weekend was Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. It really is a time, a bit like Christmas, when family becomes a focus. Many people who can, share a festive meal with family and maybe others who have none or are alone. It seems to be a time for sharing a meal and giving thanks for all that we have. 

But several days after, I was on the subway on my way to my volunteer work and I was standing beside a woman who looked utterly miserable. She looked incredibly tired and sad and almost, I would say, hopeless. Her nose at one time had obviously been broken and I wondered how or perhaps, who? At that moment I thought how easy it is for me to be thankful for family and sharing and the joy of friendship but what was it like for her - and for so many others? 

I have said before how challenging I find it to recognize the injustice of birth in this world. I can take no credit for being born with all I need. She did nothing to deserve being born into a life that was, perhaps, all struggle and even brutality. It is at the very least for me, a reminder that because we did nothing to deserve our birth gifts we do have to recognize our responsibility to work to make this a world in which everyone has all that enables them to flourish...We don't have to be rich in money or things, but I think everyone needs, indeed deserves, to be rich in love and peace and care. It is perhaps something we can help one another to achieve.

Finally, I just wanted to share another gift for which I do not know how to speak enough of my gratitude. For, during the month of September I was visiting the United Kingdom. That is to say, I was mostly visiting friends and most especially, the Sisters with whom I had shared some or most of my 30 years there - and several other friends associated with that life. It was an absolutely wonderful visit, indeed it was perfect. Two things struck me as most wonderful: the abundant hospitality that people offered and the gracious gift of friendship. I am so thankful. And thankful too...

For beauty

For family

And more beauty

For tranquility

For each one's beautiful humanity

Are we really enemies?(revisited)

We were at a bible study group one morning and one of the readings we read is  from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians and among other things it says, basically, ' you have a responsibility to and for one another'. He suggests for instance, that even when we may have a right to do something, we may have a responsibility not to do it if it will harm or scandalize others. At very least, I think he is suggesting that we think about the implications of what we say or do before we act, out of respect for our brothers and sisters.


This took my mind to something that I have noticed since I have come back to Canada from my life in the monastery; something I think is becoming more evident to us all. That is, it seems to me that our civic and political life is becoming so confrontational that there is less and less will to compromise or listen or love. So for instance: I am certain I am right, you do not agree with me, therefore you are wrong and I will destroy you. Or, at very least,  I will shout you down when you try to speak, I will cast all sorts of doubts on your truthfulness and credibility, I will be certain that you don't 'win'. Because if you win then I must lose. That is certainly evident in American politics just now but it may be increasingly true here in Canada too. 

But it is not just in political life that this happens. I hear more and more often  people speaking about entitlement for instance. 'I am entitled to...' and follows a whole list of perks. With that goes the sense that if I don't fight for myself and my rights, no one else will and if I fight for mine I can't fight for yours. In feeling that way, may we not be losing sight of that humanity that Paul speaks of?

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There is a kind of beautiful interdependence here that perhaps we could learn from- it creates beauty.

If we only think in terms of 'us' and 'them', if our neighbor becomes somehow an enemy, what chance do we have to become full, loving, whole human beings and a society of care? If we look around us at the people we admire I should imagine that they are people who are in fact, the opposite of those of whom I have been speaking. They will be people who are caring, self-less, truth-full people. I should imagine that we admire their courage in doing the loving thing. How will our world be one in which future generations can live in peace if we go on building a society and a polity that cannot live compassionately?

I have mentioned before that Karen Armstrong and others have have taken up the 'cause' for compassion with the Charter for Compassion. The purpose of the Charter states that it 'is a document that transcends religious, ideological and national differences...The Charter activates the Golden Rule around the world'. The Golden Rule states, in one of its forms ' do not do to others what you would not want done to you'. What a way to begin!

Here is their website. www.charterforcompassion.org

Forgiveness and some beauty.

This is another blog which is mostly going to be a sharing of some photos but maybe it is possible to make a connection between them and this quote from Jean Vanier*:

Likes and dislikes are motivated by our own natural needs and fears. We are attracted to those who seem to affirm and encourage us, who love and admire us. We reject those who do not affirm or encourage us but who judge and condemn. We may not be imprisoned in anything as strong as hate, but our likes and dislikes create equally high walls of prejudice. Behind them we can act as if others do not exist, or as if they do not belong to our common humanity.

To be truly liberated, we have to make an effort to communicate with those we dislike, to try to understand and accept them as they are, and to experience our mutual humanity. This is forgiveness.

* Jean Vanier: Becoming Human, Paulist Press/House of Anansi Press, 1998