The Power of one

The other day I had a lovely visit with two friends from l'Arche. I always enjoy these visits because there is lots to share and lots of news to learn. We each have a special association with the l'Arche community in Greater Vancouver and so, getting together is a wonderful occasion for remembering the people we have lived with and loved.

L'Arche is there as a community which includes at its core, men and women who seem to be intellectually challenged in some way and who live with others who come to assist them but who, in the end, gain more than they give. When we have these reminisencing sessions it is always the core people we talk about because, I believe, it is they more than the others, who have touched our lives and helped transform them. When I think of this I am startled to think that these are people whom we as a society have written off (and that is not too strong a phrase).

I wanted to write about this because it occurs to me more and more that we, as human beings, often question ourselves and what we do or don't do by saying something like, 'what is the point of my doing this or that, I am only one person and nobody will care. What I do won't make any difference'. And yet, as I thought about the conversations I have had with my friends about our companions in l'Arche it occurred to me that this is never true.


One of the people we were talking about was our friend Geraldine. This woman was, yes, in some sense intellectually less agile than some but you could only admire her sense of herself: she knew what she wanted (or didn't - and this was always clear) and she had an amazing capacity to sit, to observe, to supervise and sometimes, to choose to do as little as possible. This is not a criticism because you recognized an art form when you saw it. Geraldine had managed to live quite a long life by choosing a way of getting the most with the least effort. That in some ways is a gift many people long for. She had a wonderful sense of humor, a beautifully unique laugh and she touched each life around her by her almost majestic presence there on the couch. She was one of the most interesting people I have ever known.


Someone else I always remember with love is Iris. Iris was very different from Geraldine. She was quite able in many ways and perhaps if her parents had not been told she was 'retarded' she would have married and lived a relatively normal life. In any case, she struggled lovingly, to be all that she could be. She was kind and considerate. But one of the things I remember most about her was something she taught me. Iris had come to spend some time with us in order to see if she would like to move to l'Arche, and so towards the end of her stay I said, 'Iris, have you made any decision about whether you would like to come and live here?'. She looked at me sadly and said, 'Well, I don't know. No one has ever taught me how to make a decision. I have never had to make one before.' Wow! That was an education for me. But it was also a glimpse into the heart of someone who was rich in humanity and who had suffered because no one had had faith in what she could learn to do.

My point in sharing this very tiny bit about these two wonderful women is that they profoundly affected me. Their presence and friendship enriched my life. Two (but of course there were many other unique, very special individuals as well but this is not a book) individual women whom society had judged to be 'handicapped' 'retarded' were two of the most interesting and human people I have ever known. Each one was a gift. Each one made a contribution to the world around them. They might have said ' what is the point of my living, what is the point of my trying, I am someone of no account'. But life proved differently. They touched not only my life, but many others as well. And all of us who were changed by knowing them have somehow passed that gift on to others. And so it spreads.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that hardly any of us are what the world calls 'big players'. But what we are, every one of us, is beautifully unique and precious individuals who touch the lives of many people in a lifetime and so, one does matter because it is like the ripples in the water- our little life touches another who touches another and on it goes. So wouldn't it be wonderful to see that as an incentive to be the best and most loving people we can be.