Recurring themes in life

You know, it is interesting how often some theme or some word keeps appearing in your life after you first notice it. In this case I am thinking of 'vulnerability' 'weakness'.

A weekend ago I was in Tennessee at a retreat for people who are caregivers. It was meant to be about 'The Spirituality of Caregiving'  so that it was not about how to care for someone but more about how to care for the caregiver. One of the themes that arose there was that caregivers feel they need to be strong and they often go on and on without a break or without admitting that they need a break. But here, in the atmosphere of a group who understood, there was the opportunity for people to say 'I am tired', 'I myself feel vulnerable', 'I sometimes think thoughts about the one I care for that I can hardly bear'.

Later, during the same weekend we attended a meeting that was focused on the message of Henri Nouwen's life and books and how it might speak to people now, in this 21st century. The strongest theme that arose was the awareness that Henri was speaking out of his own weakness, his own very great need and vulnerability. But because he helps us to see that it is okay to be weak, that it is okay to be a mess we can be encouraged. Because what he also makes wonderfully clear is that we are so beloved of God even when we fall apart or act badly that we can stop trying to be what we are not: strong. We all agreed however, that in this world where strength and success and never failing are built into the way of our society this is not a message that people want to hear.

Then, when I returned home and was reading more from the book I mentioned in my last blog - the one by Joan Chittister, I found the theme again. Here's what she had to say: 

Vulnerability is clearly part of the spiritual process, clearly part of the human endeavor. To know ourselves to be exposed to forces outside ourselves, beyond our control, teaches us the power of both darkness and light, gives us gifts from the depths of the unknown, introduces us to the mystery of life...We are put in a position where we have no choice but to go out of ourselves to others in order to draw from them what we ourselves would otherwise be left without. Vulnerability gives us the gift of our own limitations and from the darkness of despair we learn to trust in the gifts of those who are seeking our own giftedness in return.

And then, to all that, add something from Thich Nhat Hanh which sort of topped everything off: 

We have to wake up to the fact that everything is connected to everything else. Our safety and well-being cannot be individual matters any more. If others are unsafe, there is no way we can be safe.

So, I feel like there is a strong message in all of this that says both that we are all weak and vulnerable and in need of one another and also, that that is just fine!