The Child who ran away

I am re-reading, although it almost seems like the first time, Henri Nouwen's book: The Return of the Prodigal Son*. It is a beautiful book, one of the last he wrote and full of his special kind of wisdom and very exposed humanity. Right now I am reading his section on the younger son. For those who do not know the story see the bible, Luke Ch. 15;11 - 32. Nouwen is also reflecting on Rembrandt's wonderful and deeply moving painting called: The return of the Prodigal.   
   

In the painting the father's love is so beautifully expressed. This is love for a son who has squandered his (the father's) money; who has lived a life in which his only goal is to please himself. The son doesn't recognize or, it seems, even want his father's love until he finds himself hungry, lost, experiencing nothing but absolute misery. He doesn't believe his father will welcome him back as a son but he might be grateful for another hand on the farm. However, the father loves in a way that few of us think we have ever been loved. The father asks the son for nothing and is simply filled with gratitude for his return. The father does not chastise or penalize he only welcomes and loves. Many people see this figure of the father as a portrait of God. It is not important that this image is of a male figure, it could easily be God the mother as well. The point is not the gender but the unconditional love.

Nouwen struggles with this. 'To whom do I belong? To God or to the world?...As long as I keep running about asking: "Do you love me? Do you really love me?" I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with 'ifs'. The world says: "Yes, I love you if are good-looking, intelligent and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much, and buy much." There are endless "ifs" hidden in the world's love... the world's love is and always will be, conditional.'

Later, Nouwen recognizes the literally awesome gift of God as seen in the father of this story. 'God has never pulled back his arms, never withheld his blessing, ...' Nouwen says, ' Here, the mystery of my life is unveiled. I am loved so much that I am left free to leave home. The blessing is there from the beginning. I have left it and keep on leaving it. But the Father is always looking for me with outstretched arms to receive me back and whisper again in my ear: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests".

This belovedness is a gift for us all. It is really the only thing that truly brings us peace and makes us happy. When we come to know this then we know who we are, we don't have to impress anyone. We are loved just as we are.

*Henri Nouwen: The Return of the Prodigal Son: a Story of Homecoming, Image Books, Doubleday, N.Y., 1992